For my unborn son , Lil’ dude , Punkin’head ,

Booskie , ‘ Ola , Maneeee and any other

Children I raise or have in the future .

This is a work of fiction. Although it refers to works from many different artists. The ideas , advise and events and characters described here are products of the author’s imagination.

Twisted Instinct c 2005 , 2006 by Philip Van der Mude all rights reserved > NO part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations in critical reviews or articles.

For ordering contact:

Philip Vander Mude  at Family Man STFAN Inc.

(772) 485-9977

Cover art inspired by M.Whitmore collage assembled by

P. Van der Mude

“ You can’t see the forest thru the trees and

You can’t smell your own shit on your knees ”

From “ the beautiful people ” by Marilyn Manson

Support the arts buy the CD and you’ll

Under               stand

From: Ezekielslotter1978@hotmail.com

Sent :  Wednesday , Nov 4 , 2005  2:09 AM

To: Lorihasgreeneyes@hotmail.com

<<Zeek

 What do you guys want ?  Mark got mad at me and slapped me across the face then left . I have not heard from him for weeks and he always came back before , flowers in hand…. Tim the nice guy wants me to take our kids and come live with him out in his compound… and you are cool with me leaving , taking  our kids and going …… When I said to you that I wanted , I  needed ,  to get a good fuck …that I needed you  …  you …… you ,,, say , yes! , you want to fuck me  , and that you understand that I am in love with another man ……. What is that ? ..what is up with men ?

From : Lorihasgreeneyes@hotmail.com

Sent :  Monday , Nov 3 , 2005 10:37 PM 

To: Ezekielslotter1978@hotmail.com>>

Lori

 I have a reply …..after all the books , all the videos , all the counseling and the lawyers …all the best advise …….. I go back to  that idea “ Dichotomy “ , that word you used so long ago  to describe me …….   And you’re are right …… di   as in two … two parts  .. or two faces ,, maybe ?, but it is not I who is that ..2   I ‘ve got a little something I want you to read , ( lil’ something my ass  )  this fisherman got something to say ,,,

Twisted Instinct

Yo ! Dumbfuck , the biggest issue in your life has been PUSSY …. “Who the fuck replaced the happy lil’ slut I used to fuck ,  with this crazy bitch …? ”  Huh?  They drive you nuts , creating so much stress and anger , yes ?

Every one says  “ you can’t understand women ”  true , but I ask .   Is it that they are some how in a form of control over us males , not in a harmony with us  , that causes us even think about trying to understand them … Did you get that?  Look if the girl was not in control then how could they create the stress that demands the action of understanding from us ???? huh ? and what is the control ??  Next , you gotta to think about the effects , how controlled people re - act to controls over time , and also how the controllers change ,,,,, Absolute power corrupts absolutely … what is perceived as a weak force sometimes can have incredible , POWER … you will think … as you read this book . Thinking is what this book is all about.

You ,  read about fishin, huntin’, the car , but not something as important as pussy ,,  Well now it is time to read about that . Pussy is a good thing they are so cute and make nice lil’ squeaky sounds when played with , I am  jus’ a dog at heart gotta have my squeaky toy …. .Yeah I know my friend ,, you don’t read , well think of this as bathroom reading,, read some here and there and in a couple of weeks you’ll be done . I ain’t no fucking writer ,  I’m a fucking baitman .

8 out’a 10 american males have gone fishing in the past and would go fishin again in the future , I KNOW YOU.   You hung around my store in Miami  , a large city where my customers came from all over the country big town or small . I KNOW >>>> YOU ,,and a large percentage of you out of frustration have let “ Jack ” , “ Bud ” and “ Herb ”  do your thinking for you lately or maybe it is crying your pain into your beer , whatever . Thinking is action , in any bait shop  the owner’s  style of teaching was to get you to think like the fish ,,, get you to think is the important part ,,, I do not want you to try to think like the opposite sex no there are books out there that try that ,,,no I want you to just think …….

Look in you is an animal , you’ve got killer genes . You have an instinct to protect your family , your home , your kids , your women and you will fight for that ….. what if ??? Well I am getting ahead of the game but a seed to think about , where are most of your fights ? At work? At the coffee shop ? on the fishing pier ? where?

 hell …. I never seen anyone else write about the fucked up  ideas I’ll discuss ,  much less even talk about the ideas ,,, so I will talk out  , and to do that I gotta write ,,, OH yes I will be offensive .. I am not sugar coating anything , every other book is doing that for you and your life sucks …  so , I dare to be myself …>>> ok I know I ain’t supposed to be adding nothing after it has already begun to sell , but fuck you I am doin it anyway…. America you are totally fucking trip , you read the book the whole thing all the way thru to the little Epilogue. You passed your resistance or your fears and read the whole fuckin’ thing . Now after getting reactions back from people north south east and west ,,, you’all are way cool .. girls well your reactions have been much more varied than I expected, you surprised me …. You are … such …. Well you are girls and I love you …… Men your reactions were as I expected varied for reasons of honor , you honor that rock you built your life upon and that I respect . But what is interesting is that you got it , you twisted ideas about the “j & H” it is in you , written in your cell structure , I got reactions from men I could tell , jus’ good ole’ drunk mean sons of bitches ,,, you got something from this book ….. America you are a trip ... to my printer I know I am a goddammotherfuckingshiftylilprick , I switched your CD the day before I accidentally screwed up your working copy ,, so what everyone got a ten or 15 minute break while you reloaded an edited copy , fuck dude you have been like pumping the shop for OT since starting to sell this thing , thanks you have been putting together a fine book … and to the buyers of this book my friend who is making it, printin gluein and shippin as he says , well he never expected to print paper back books that is not his trade so if a page starts to come loose , and yes I know there are loads of spelling errors > I left’em jus put a drop of Elmer’s glue down in there and let it set overnight … you people are a trip you jus don’t know how much of a trip you are .

“ An entire world hummed and bustled beyond the dark ramparts of the mountains , yet to Lindsay Harrison the night seemed empty , as hollow as the vacant chambers of a cold ,dead heart . Shivering  , she slumped deeper in the passenger seat of the Honda. Serried ranks of ancient evergreens receded up the sloped lands of the……..”  these are brush strokes on a page  , word art , this is from “ Hideaway “ by Dean Koontz ,  this is used as a comparison , to getcha ready …because my book ain’t goin’ 2B nutin’ like dis’ . YOU CAN NOT read this like a regular book expecting a story and plot ,,,, my book is about giving you shit to think about .

      O . K. I am going to write in a style they call  Stream of Consciousness that gives me a bunch of  freedom since …. I ain’t got no rules and no expectations…… one thing you should expect is to be confused ,, “ whaaa the fuck ?  did he just change something ?” you will say to yourself a bunch ,,,, and good ,  dam it ,, that means you will have to either re-read something or read a bit further on to figure what the F I was doing … and if you still do not get it well maybe there is a connection later on . Get the idea I ain’t a writer jus’ a guy like you that wants to get us out’a this TRAP and bring our happy lil’ sluts back to the bedroom where they belong .  ……  I have enough respect for arts to know art is a practiced skill and writing for me  has been limited to the fishing reports I had published in the papers for  years , definitely not art .

This book maybe best  compared to a 

“ Jackson Pollock “  the guy that threw paint against the wall and everyone called him a ..“ genie – us ” .  Where he created his colors and paints then threw them on canvas leaving an art  , in writing I take ideas not colors and words not paints and throw them over pages  .  It sure as fuck ain’t good writing . This is an abstract ,,,  ohh , you do know the book started with the Email at the beginning , right .

  …. Thought .. thinking …. I ain’t going to spoon feed you , getting U 2 tink mon  , it is your choice ,,, in fact  “Choice” your freedom to do just that  choose to act  ,,,, well that may well be the most important thing in the end just getting you to act … to think 
   

  You are spoon fed with sound bite ideas all your life ,,,,, sound bite things that can be explained in the 30 second TV commercial  ,,, it fucking keeps you a slave to other people ……Here I also kinda sound bite , drop in ideas , but I hope not to explain to much  rather  give you something to think about . To inspire you to think , I call it

….. twist , I want you to twist out your own ideas.

“ All we have to fear is fear itself ”  some old fat British guy said that , Churchill was his name. and I’ll throw in a bunch of “left field ” shit like the above quote , whether or not I am correct about details is not as important as the thoughts  . A friend who read the book said this quote was from Roosevelt and I thought it is was when Churchill was talking to parliament , well I am sure my smart friend is right , I sure as fuck ain’t right all the time.  The important thing is we all know the words , the idea , the thought behind the words. Do not get lost in the details , the nothing .

The Anger you as a man feel and the pain also , hell it is not me just saying it listen to music especially country tunes tons of pain  . I want to tap into POWER of music that is why I use a  metal CD from Korn to work my ideas into ,  to arouse your emotions “ hate is good!!” feel the power to change things around you  . The ideas about our instinct ,, learning from history I use a woman’s own words by kinda exploring “ the red tent ” and then the “ Fairy Tale ” how the weak control the strong , even though this book describes the woman you really want  . It also shows a lot about the women we really have , you just gotta think about it , twist .. and that book is

 “ the surrendered wife ” . I end it with my own suggestions about the reality of the health needs for Free Market pussy  , next  a 3 wife / girlfriend  life … TWISTED … my friend twisted , but something you should read ..because fact is fact …. Your life sucks ….as it is now ,, am I right or am I right ? Oh , yes ladies , from what I hear life sucks for U2 like about 95% of you. . It is like getting you sick , your body creates illness , when life is fucked up.

Find what is useful and then use it … way important this idea,,, so I will do and learn from the best of mind control specialists .. the advertising industry and repeat the important stuff .

Find what is useful and……     ..Use it – Zhuangzi  .   My hope for you .. is that you will understand those 7 words

This is not about making money ,,,, self published ,, not giving into the need to sell shit , I  can and hope to offend you the reader no matter what your sex . With no publisher to say to me “ yo , Zeek you can’t say that , this book will never sell , you will piss off , this group of people and that group of people ” .  ( Ok to make peace with a friend , laugh shit head , it is just a fuckin’ book . that is from one shithead – me to another shithead – a fishin buddy of mine . He took offense to me calling him stupid , dumbass , shit for brains , etc. Well dude , It ain’t like I ain’t in the same boat with you now is it? I know I am a “shit” in fact got a T- shirt that says just that in big letter across the front SHITHEAD)

Well , hi groups of people I hope I do piss you off , if so maybe ,, jus’ maybe you had to open that closed mind of yours long enough to even allow yourself to get pissed ……uuuuh ( brain fart ) and thus , you may have had a chance to have an original thought ,,,, but of course your programming kicks in and you repeat like a good robot  your “shoulds ” you know ……“ but xy&z  on the TV said it should be like ______ ”  the party line , the politically correct shit … You repeat the fairy tale ,, like snow white and the prince ideas really do work , well they did not work ,,now did they ?

Congruous : adj. 1. a. being in agreement , harmony , or correspondence , b. conforming to the circumstance of a situation ; appropriate 2. marked by harmony among parts ( Latin congruous “ to come together , agree “ )

If you work in a wrong job , you know your life falls apart , you fall apart in time ,,, yo dipshit ,,, if you live a wrong life ( hell a lot bigger and more important than jus’; a job ) you fall apart ,,,, get fat , do dope , get depressed , get ill , drink to much , spend till you are totally in debt  .. any of these things sound familiar in your life or in the lives of friends of yours ????????? uh??? Maybe one or 2 people ?

This is all about helping those who may not have found help , peace , contentment  in the what I call the “ fairy tale world ” …. I a goin’2 try to get U to think about instincts ,,,,, not just your nurture, all your learning ,,,, but throw enough twisted shit at you in hopes you           may think about ,,,, instinct ,,, animal type     instinct shit …. Yo we are blood , bones ,, hair ,, DNA ,,,,, hell from what I think I got ,,, there is parts of my DNA way the fuck down there that links us really cool human , god type folk ,  to Frogs and slugs …. Relates us , to Deer and Lion  …. Gorillas and everything ,, and if so …..

I betcha some of the mating instincts are still there ,,,, see already I try to twist things a bit … reproduction – the recreation of ourselves is very basic very important  all compelling …it’s instinct.  Your dating , sex , marriage  life I am sure has caused more stress more anger more problems more tears than any other one single issue in your life ,, when you look at it over the all the years starting from your teens to today …… I am going to throw some data some numbers ,,, all data depends of it’s collection and the way it was crunched ,, straight up I say mine is fucked up > It is jus’ supposed to be general , just’ you and me kind’a talking casual like no big fucking earth moving deal  ,,, jus’  minds shooting the shit >  like on a rainy Sunday around the bait shop .

In different parts of the book  I’ll put in author bio . stuff so you can see I am not the socially accepted , politically correct or a professional who should be stating his or her views ,,, no .. I am a you   2  .   That truly gives me the right to write a bunch of shit . I see things not as they in the  “fairy tale world ” want you to see it …. And that may help you to look outside of their box .      

Try it sometime ,,,, hey here is an idea ..try it now .. keep fucking reading … for you guys I again suggest you put this in the bathroom for bathroom reading ,,, it will take you a week or two to finish ,,, but the important part is that the cat ,, the pussy will be curious ,,, she will read it when you are not around ,, and finish it in a day or two .  I address the ladies directly quite often ,  I expect your wives and girlfriends to curious like any good cat …read the book girls  get my past my cussing and just read remember it is an emotional catharsis …….  but now is when the fun starts ,,,,, ready guy ,, got the balls ???

Someday you should read this book  with some companion items …. A word of lawyer type bullshit :I’m not associated with any of the following artists , publishers , distributors , retailers , their dogs or cats , their neighbors or anyone ,,, none of these people endorse any of my ideas ,,,,, My ideas .. all I have done is use the useful  …. So go buy  …. Korn’s greatest hits volume 1 with DVD , next a new York times best seller “ The surrendered Wife ” and another New York times best seller “ The red tent ” ……. I hope my lil’ book here  generates some added sales for these fine artists .

There is still shit to be gained from reading my book with out them but honestly my book is built around the works of these artists . So buy their goddam shit . spend , spend spend make the economy turn .

So many people got Problems

…………………….Every problem has a solution , even if the solution is a repeating decimal it is a solution , it jus’ means you gotta keep living the solution , not putting

“ . . . ”   to reference to living .. got it good.

There is a lot of sex in this … I think the Sigmund dude had a point and not just the one he kept hidden under his hat ,,, but he had something there in all his ideas about sex and guess what sex has been happening for what … how many years ??? like forever , man.  Wanna know something else ,, sex brings with it  gender and the possibility that overall the years since god made 2 of each kind for the garden of Eden , or since the beginning of evolution ( which ever is your fancy ) there has been certain instinctual gender roles that formed ,,, and served animals instinctually ,,,,,, fuck with the instinct of a thing  and a thing will become no longer CONGRUOUS   …. ThINGs  gET FUcKEd Up

 Well , since I want men to read this , and we men got short attention spans ….  and all the real answers are already written in the worlds best sleep aid the bible …. I tryed to make this a small book 

Well on to the show …..

“ a cheap fuck for me to lay ” from “freak on a leash” by….

KORN greatest hits volume 1 w/ dvd ,, buy this cd…. You can hear and feel the animal frustration in Korn’s music . The words I use are something I had hanging around that my daughter found here and there on the web for me before the Korn show at the Buzz Bake Sale in ’04 so it is not copywrite because it is it  an idea of what Jon is saying not Korn’s official words …. But ,, what is important is ,, the emotions ,,,, You gotta get the CD.

 Women say over and over  emotions this emotions that… but fuck listen to music and a large percentage of it is created by us << US ,,,, males…..  it is raw emotion sound ….. not the perversions of talking and confusing debates or fights ……… Some of you if you have an idea of what Korn is may , be thinking ,,, waaaa the f’ . Korn is what Korn is ….. Guttural may be a good word .but the idea of blending the reading and the listening , way cool , not your normal book type of thing .

Years and years ago a guy ….  Napoleon Hill , he wrote a book  “ think and grow rich “ and he used a word , “transmutation “…. To mutate to change,,,, trans to move .  In the music ,  feel your anger ,,,, anger is not bad it is good ,, it is a part of you it has a reason , for still existing and expressing itself in our lives ,,,, motivation for change .

The lyrics. it is a tool ,,, I will use ,,, and yo’ dumb fuck , yes I am talking 2 U ,,,, use the useful .  U use it 2 use this exercise ….read think and rock …..oh thanks all you people who place lyrics on sites .

Mr. Hill was way into the power of thought ,,,, like thought itself had energy and ,, like all energy thus is similar at some level to sun light , radio waves ,   hell even E=mc2 ….. I am going to bring up something called “thought form” ,,,,, want more info read Illusion by Richard Bach .  Actually read the fucking bible ….. what is prayer but thought then expressed in words , the only tool we got ,, words .. for expressing thought …. So prayer is thinking .. got some big power your thinking .  Watch out what you think …. Some smart person said once ,, “ watch out what you wish4, you will most likely get it “  and as often happens when we get what we wished for it was not the happiness we hoped for .

For some of us ,, we would be better off ,,,,, if some one who cared about us , ,,,, cared for us also …… remember these last couple of words ,,, when you come across a time in this book when you are fighting with the ideas . This is directed to the ladies , if you are a guy and want someone to care for you ….. this book is not meant for you

 read enjoy think and maybe even laugh

“ word up “   get started right away with the idea again of fear …… a person begs , why? Because he is afraid he will not get what he is asking for …… but something should never have been asked for ,, some things are instinct ,, deep in our bones , our  D N A  basic shit ,,,,, a thing that should never have been degraded by , begging ,,, and begging comes in many , many forms ,,,, all you got to do is twist the way you look at the action ,, an “ wham “ you see it for what it is ,,, a BEGGGGGG

Yo , pretty ladies ……….every lady is pretty …..often I will refer to bitch instead of lady ,, get the fuck over it ,,, give a man a girl who enjoys ,  him , feeling him ,,, she can big , slim , what some may call ugly or Barbie ,,, but be there , really there woman  , and he is the happiest man in the world ,,, the sounds … it is all in the instinctual sounds …..  hey guys … you know a Barbie that was like doing her nails while you were licking her … as if your attentions were not really that important ?…. Ahhhh gawd I hate you bitch  …..  

around the world

Gotta a weird thing to show you

So tell all the boys and girls        get used to this I m a going change up .studies show ,, heck read Gray mars and venus stuff ,, men and women do not use words the same .. we guys use XXX number per day girls you use 10X  ..get it 10 times  more . We are different boys and girls ,,,, the difference is not just dick and pussy …. Instinct ,, we men love the sound … not the words but the sound of a woman who is enjoying our fuck our attentions ,,,, give us the sound ,,, that you feel what we are doing …just like how you respond , you get hotter the closer we get to cumming ,, you respond to the animal lust …. Listen to porn don’t look ……listen

Tell your brother and your sister and your momma too

We are about to go down

And you know just what to do

Wave your hands in the air like you don’t care

Glide by the people as they start to look and stare

Do your dance , do your dance   look at the belly dancer ,,,  the two hands crossed in mock restraint and  struggle .. slave girl at the end of a rope ,,, today she says no ,, no ,,, no ,,, and opens her legs wider with each no ,,, wet pussy tells no lies …..

Do your dance do your dance

Chorus:

C’mon baby tell what the word

Now word up ahhahhh

Everybody say

When you hear the call you gott to get it under way I was leaving the dock one day when a friend a clown an fmp. Came and said “ I jus’ put up the flags it’s a named storm I ain’t goin’ go look for your body till after the flags go down “ I replied “ I got bills to pay kids to feed “ it was the next storm season after Andrew and I had a life  to re build and a bunch of money in the sea . Your man will die for you he will kill for you ….. do you woman really understand that ?

            But is it you girl ? one person or is it the idea of family that drives us males …. Go back in time when we were not owned by a vow of love to just one woman ….. look into my     d n a

Word up ahhhahhh

It the call , word

No matter where you say it

You remember this song it is a titty bar standard …Gentlemen , ain’t been to the titty bar lately well it is my recommendation you return ,,, for a while , about every couple of weeks or once a month …. You gotta remember what seduction was …. And for a buck you can get it again . now yo fool get it , these chicks do not love they are sharks ,,, use them because they are useful ….. regain your place as someone who should be seduced ,,,, that is your place your instinct . at the same time I understand your refusal , your.. should not have to … search for seduction … you know deep inside you  ,that ,, yes?  …well you will understand as you read ….

You know that you will be heard .

Now all you sucker DJ’s

Who think you are fly

There has got to be a reason

And we know the reason why

You try to put on those airs

And act real cool

But you got to realize

That you’re acting like fools

The guy with a Vette got a small dick, the ladies say ..  the ladies do a lot of talking among themselves  My friend my friend , caution the advice , the purchase of a personality …. Are you truly making a mating statement or are you begging for Pussy . yo I understand you gotta get it ,you gotta get it,, do what you need to get it …. At the same time , think or begin to think twisted ….. realize ,,, think about the idea that you have been trained since day one to begggggggggg for pussy .

If there is music we can use  it

Be free to dance

At age 7 they danced ,, we played with toy guns , dancing seduction , guns fighting off other males to keep our herd ( like a deer or walrus INstinct ) ,, our harem .. we did not dance for them ….. I want you to think more about the time 400,000 years past to time of Christ . ….. then compare  effects of city civil things , and remember up till about 100 years ago the vast majority of us were not city dwellers,, we were  rural village peoples and in many many parts of the world , still almost aboriginal .

We don’t have time for psychological romance  girls are not really into a mental thing , they spend so much of their efforts in attractions being sexy , it is a competition , and this , this instinctual competition in the attraction of us males , is important …. Keep thinking about this , think think think piece it together like a puzzle in your own mind ….

No romance no romance

No romance for me , mom

Chorus:……

Bridge ..

Word up everybody say

When you hear the call you got to get it under way  

word up

it the call word

no matter where you say it

you know you will be heard

10,000 years ago ,,,, every 25 years or so there was a new ruler and well they jus loved making a new name for themselves so there was a war ,, fuck …. Well if I lost I had a choice , either die , get killed right there or live and my new master would cut my balls off ( do not want the chance of having infidel blood lines still living on ) and I became a slave but alteast I was alive, my male children treated the same way .., but my DNA stopped  , my wives had a choice either be a good fuck ….. I mean a good fuck , wet up for the winner and make all the right sounds , swallow,  whatever …… or get a nice new collar be tied to a stake out in the barley  fields till you died ….. whose gene lines lived on ????? think twisted ,,,,, the girls walking the street today ….. have in them the instinct to be a good fuck….. very good fucks.

Sex is so important … she bleeds 10%of her month for sex …. That is right girls ,, yes?

Human female the only primate with enlarged breasts when not feeding its baby.

Open for daily sex not limited to a season a time of being in “heat”

Twist it a bit and you can say her sex controls her life …. The ones who honestly liked it lived on….. because if you do not honestly like something then you manifest in time problems , and me a winner a warrior 10k years ago  , would say to woman with probs ,,, fat drug addicted depressed bitch off to the barley  field with you here is your new collar … death . and your kids bitch , probably the same as you ,, the same blood ,yes?  workem till they die also …… the good fuck stays in the tent …the children from that woman the sweet fuck  ,they become my prized  children and become doted upon and given land and position ….... logic … not pretty by todays ,,,” fairy tale” , whose genes live in you girl ? …. Respect your genes your instinct or get a fucked up life …. Pretty F’ ing simple .

Word up

 everybody say when you hear the call you got to get it under way

word up it is the call word

no matter where you say it

you know you’ll be heard

 today, honey ,  you actually have much more control over your sexual life ,,woman listen to me !!!!! and you are manifesting , problems at a rate of 60% fat  ,  25% depressed and 10% drug or alcohol addicted ….total 95% (60+25+10=95) Wow that leaves only 5% ,,, 5 out of 100 women … 5% who are content ,,, so what I think is ,,,, you should actually be in a relationship where you are not in control …..but , you will get the picture over the course of the book ,,,,

Another brick in the wall

Daddy’s flown across the ocean

Leaving just a memory

A snapshot in the family album